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Ch.13
Turning and Returning
-------------------------------- When he finally pleaded guard duty and made his escape, it was nearly two hours later, and Aeris insisted on accompanying him to the Sector 7 gate. Elmyra, although clearly reluctant to let Aeris go, also didn't want to pry her away from Zack, when she hadn't seen him in so long. They finally compromised, with Elmyra insisting Aeris be back before dark. Zack strode briskly back, lost in his thoughts. Beside him, Aeris was strangely quiet, as if sensing his turmoil, or having run out of things to tell him about. She kept pace with him easily, despite being considerably shorter in the leg than he was. "Aeris," he said softly when they reached the Sector 6 playground. "Can we talk?" She nodded, so he motioned for her to pick someplace to sit. He wasn't surprised when she climbed up on top of the moogle slide. Climbing up beside her, he let his feet dangle down over the moogle's right eye. "What," he began, then stopped. He glanced at Aeris, but she was studying the toes of her boots. "What," he tried again, "Was all... that... at your house... about? I mean...." Heaving a sigh, he searched for a polite way to let her down. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm not.... I never meant.... Shit. Did I give you the impression...?" She shook her head vigorously. "No, no, Zack, it's alright, it's my fault. You see..." she paused, picking an invisible dirt speck off her skirt. "Mom -- Elmyra -- she wants me to have a "normal" life. She wants me to have all the things I'd have if we lived on the Plate, you know? And I just couldn't help it... when I met you, it was just all so perfect. I guess... I turned it into a fairy tale, for her... and for me," she added softly. "Oh." Zack's irritation deflated. "You were just so wonderful, so kind. And those letters you sent were always so nice and just..." she sighed, bushing her bangs back off her face. "I'm sorry. I live so much in my own little dream world down here, dreaming about what life could be like, if only...." "So, you told her I was with Shinra, but not that I'm a SOLDIER?" Aeris nodded glumly. "But why not tell her the whole truth?" Zack snorted, realizing the irony of what he was saying. "I mean, at least that much of the truth." "Because. Because it was just easier not to say. She... doesn't trust Shinra anyway, and SOLDIER is... well... you know." "SOLDIER is Shinra at its worst," he murmured. "Oh, no," Aeris exclaimed. "That's the Turks." He quirked an eyebrow at her, and her hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide with dismay. "You know the Turks?" he asked evenly. Blushing furiously, Aeris nodded helplessly. "How?" "When I was little," she began reluctantly, "They used to come to the house, to check on me and Elmyra. Not often -- maybe once or twice a year." "Why?" She shook her head, her expression going still and cold. "I can't say. You don't want to know." Drawing one knee up to his chest, he pretended to study the path. "But --" She shook her head, placing one hand on his arm. "Don't. Don't ask. The less you know, the less hold Shinra has on you." He gave her a wry look. "Aeris, they own me anyway. All the Mako and shit I have in me.... Shinra's my only guarantee of a job and my sanity." "That's not true! Zack you mustn't believe everything they tell you! They don't know...." Her sudden intensity faded away, leaving him with more questions than answers. "Aeris," he began, but she was already shaking her head. "No, Zack." She hopped down off the moogle abruptly. "I can't tell you today. I might not ever be able to tell you. But believe me, the Shinra... Hojo... they don't know what they're doing." And then she walked away. "Dammit!" Zack exclaimed, leaping off the moogle. "Wait a minute!" She shook her head and kept walking. "Aeris! Aeris, wait!" Breaking into a jog, he caught up with her just as she reached the gate to the playground. Stepping in front of her, he folded his arms across his chest and ignored her irritated glare. "Forget about Shinra, the Turks, all of that," he said, catching and holding her gaze. "What about...." The words caught in his throat, but he forced them out. "About us? What are you going to tell Elmyra?" "What do you want me to tell her, Zack?" Aeris asked, so softly he almost didn't hear her. He stared at her, non-plussed. "What?" "I...." She glanced down, scuffing the ground with the toe of one boot. "Will you be my boyfriend? If only for Elmyra?" He blinked, opening and closing his mouth a couple times. "Aeris, I'm --" "For me?" she added very very quietly. Her eyes, when she looked up at him again, were bright with unshed tears. "Just a little fairy tale...." Shit, he thought, I can't break her heart. Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around her. She stepped into his embrace eagerly, resting her head against his shoulder with a sigh. * * * He spent most of the train ride back to the Plate in a daze. Making his way to the Dragon's Zoo, he picked a corner booth and ordered a beer. He drank the first one far too quickly, and started on a second before he collected his thoughts enough to think about food. Glancing at his watch, he realized he only had about 15 minutes before Cloud showed up. If he was going to. Drumming his fingers against the glass bottle, he sighed. Your heart always gets you in over your head, Zachary. He could hear his mother's voice as clearly as the day she'd said that. He had attempted to rescue a small, innocently furry-looking creature from a snare near the village, only to be bitten, quite badly, by the fanged monster when he freed it. He'd meant well, he knew that much. He couldn't stand to see the poor thing suffering, its broken leg caught in the sharp twine of the snare. You're too much of a nice guy, another SOLDIER had sneered, back before the war. Harden your heart, kid, or it'll kill you. He was sure the SOLDIER, and his mother, had meant what they said, but he just couldn't do it. He'd tried, but it only left him aching inside. Born a nice guy, die a nice guy, he thought without bitterness. Letting Aeris have her fantasy wasn't going to kill him. He rather liked her anyway. Being with her was a refreshing change of pace from the barracks, and the endless politics of Shinra. It might do him some good to have a "normal" life -- the kind he could write home to his mom about. Shaking his head, he raised the mostly empty bottle and held it to his forehead. The still cool glass chilled his skin, but only seemed to emphasize the faint buzz of the alcohol in his bloodstream. Two beer and I'm half-way drunk. Pathetic. "Hey, Zack." He glanced up, smiling at Cloud. "Hey yourself, Spike," he grinned. "Have a seat." Cloud smiled, relaxing as he slid onto the bench opposite Zack. "It's good to see you again. When'd you get back?" Waving to the waitress, Zack grimaced. "Yesterday. I hate travelling." Setting his bottle at the edge of the table, he added, "Nah, it's not the travelling, it's the company. Or lack there of." Cloud made a face. "Yeah, I bet. Does Hojo even talk?" "Oh, sure. But he doesn't often make sense." Cloud chuckled as the waitress reached their table. "I'll have what he's havin'," he said, pointing to Zack's beer. "And two of whatever the special is tonight," Zack added. The waitress arched one delicately painted eyebrow at him. "Trusting sort, y'are." Zack grinned. "Done it often enough, and it hasn't killed me yet." "Can't argue with that," she replied, smiling. Scooping up the empty bottles, she sauntered back to the kitchen. "So, how's training going?" Zack asked. "You're looking a little thinner...." Cloud refused to meet his questioning look. "The food sucks. And I can't afford to eat out like this much." "You oughta let Seph cook for you sometime." Cloud gave him a quizzical look. "Who?" Zack blinked, thought about what he'd said, and shook his head. "Never mind. I'll treat you sometime." "No argument there." They both fell silent for a moment, considering each other. Damn, Zack thought. This better not get awkward. I've had enough of that today. "You're looking good," Cloud said, his eyes roving over Zack's tanned face and arms. Zack smiled. "It was a nice vacation, in some ways." "I bet. Midgar... SOLDIER... it's not much like they make it out to be, on TV." "No, it's not," Zack said quietly. His gaze grew dark and thoughtful. The waitress returned with their beers and dinner. The special turned out to be noodles and vegetables in a chunky tomato sauce. They ate in silence for a while, too busy slurping noodles to attempt conversation. Finally, his bowl half-empty, Cloud pushed it aside and sighed. Grabbing his beer, he swallowed the last few mouthfuls quickly, before setting it back on the table with a thump. Zack got the distinct impression that Cloud was gathering his courage to say something. "You're free tonight, aren't you?" Cloud asked, picking at the label on his beer bottle. Nodding, Zack wiped a drip off his chin. Cloud swallowed, studying the table. "Did you have plans? With anyone else, I mean?" His curiosity threatening to get the better of him, Zack shook his head. "Nope. Why?" he added after a pause. Taking a deep breath, Cloud finally looked up and met Zack's gaze. His blue eyes were bright with something Zack recognized easily. Desire. His breath caught in his throat. "Then can I... come back to your place?" Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the strange day he'd been having anyway. But he found himself nodding, smiling a little too happily. "Sure. Sure, Cloud. I'd like that." Cloud's answering smile sent electric chills down his spine.
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