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After Cloud left for supper, Zack finally put his pot of coffee on. He stood in the kitchen, listening to the familiar sounds of the coffee machine, and stared out the window.

There wasn't much to see. Just rows of grey roof-tops under a grey sky. The smog hung low over Midgar, as usual. He knew the sun wouldn't be setting for an hour or more yet, but just looking out, he couldn't tell. An endless grey twilight smothered the city.

Folding his arms across his chest, he studied the skyline, wondering where he had gone wrong. There was a time, years ago, when he had been unquestioningly loyal to Shinra. Thoughts such as he had spoken to Cloud had never even occured to him back then. When he'd first arrived in Midgar, he had been pretty much the same way Cloud was now, actually; eager to prove himself, to join SOLDIER, to help win the war.

He'd climbed through the ranks quickly, making First Class within a year of his arrival. Of course, people had compared him to Sephiroth, the brilliant young general. And inevitably, the two had met. What no one had expected was how well they got along, how inseparable they became. Through the two years they were at the front in Wutai, they had co-ordinated Shinra's movements with a brilliancy that should have won them the war.

But President Shinra had become impatient, and irritated by the losses they were taking. He sent Scarlett in with a new collection of mechanical troops, while withdrawing most of their SOLDIERs, against Sephiroth's advice. It was a complete disaster. Wutai was full of thunder magic - so much so that many of the roving monsters in the area could cast bolt spells, and many of the people of Wutai had even more control over lightning magic. The mechanical troops were decimated, leaving Zack and Sephiroth scrambling to salvage their campaign.

The coffee began to drip into the urn, sounding like acidic raindrops.

Salvage it they did, but it took another six months, and tactics Zack was none too proud of. Wutai was brought to its knees, as the President had demanded, but it was a conditional and incomplete victory. Shinra still hadn't gained control of the Mako in the Wutai mountains.

Turning away from the window, he walked slowly into the bedroom.

They'd returned to Midgar as soon as the treaty was signed. Sephiroth had been hailed by the Shinra propoganda machine as the war hero, the great General. To hear them tell it, the General had won the war almost singlehandedly. Zack had faded quietly into the background, content to stay in Sephiroth's shadow. The atrocities that had won them the war were buried in red tape and paperwork. The public never knew anything other than what Shinra told them.

But Zack couldn't forget what he'd seen, what he'd learned. The war had changed them both, but not in the same way. More so than ever, Sephiroth became a man of two faces: the cold, hard, imperious mask he presented to Shinra and the public, and the calm, quiet, often vulnerable side he shared only with Zack. Zack hated to see the dichotomy developing in his lover and friend, even though he recognized how necessary it was. As for himself, Zack played the loyal, dutiful SOLDIER while inwardly hating himself for it.

He knew that Sephiroth must have been thinking of that when he'd started to say: you don't belong with Shinra.

Sighing heavily, he stripped off his uniform and found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to change into.

Cloud had arrived in Midgar a couple of weeks after Zack and Sephiroth had returned. He was disappointed to learn that the war had ended while he was travelling from Nibelheim, but decided to stay on and try to join SOLDIER anyway.

Within a couple of months, Zack and Cloud had become friends. Zack admired Cloud's tenacity, and enjoyed his company. He saw reminders of himself in the blond and wanted to make sure Cloud didn't make the same kind of mistakes he had. And now it seemed that he had made worse ones while trying to protect the boy.

Wandering back out into the kitchen, Zack poured himself a cup of coffee and took it into the living room.

Cloud didn't know where Zack was going, and Zack wasn't about to tell him. The boy seemed to have too many issues about his hometown. Zack wasn't about to stir those up on him.

He sipped his coffee, savouring the full, rich taste. By the time he'd finished the first cup, he realized there was someone else he needed to say goodbye to.

A quick search of the living room turned up a pen and paper, which he carried over to the table. Sitting down, he stared at the blank paper for a moment.

Aeris, he wrote finally.

That done, he got up to get another cup of coffee. It was a full ten minutes of pen-cap chewing and coffee sipping later when he finally started writing the letter.

    Thank you again for helping Cloud last night. He doesn't remember much of what happened, but is otherwise fine and healthy.
    As for me, well... I hate to have to tell you this, espescially this way. I was looking forward to seeing you again.
    I've been reassigned, away from Midgar, for a couple of months. I don't really want to go, but I don't have a say in the matter. I don't know when I'll be back.
    I'd like to keep writing to you, if you wouldn't mind. I don't have an address to give you yet, but if you'll give your address to the person who delivers this letter, he'll make sure I get it.
    I hope you'll forgive the brevity of this note. I still have to pack, and do a dozen other things before I leave in the morning.

Take care,
Zack.

He stared at the letter for a while, not satisifed with what he'd written, but not knowing what else to say. Eventually, he folded it in three and tucked it into an envelope. He left the outside of the envelope blank. Pouring himself a third cup of coffee, he headed into the bedroom to pack.

It was nearly midnight when Sephiroth returned. Zack didn't notice him until he was standing in the bedroom doorway, watching Zack stuff the last of his clothes into his duffel bag.

"I'm glad it's spring at least," Zack said after a few moments.

Sephiroth didn't reply.

"I guess Nibelheim would be pretty cold in the winter. I'm not keen on snow."

He was expecting some kind of response to that reminder of their war days. They'd endured many a cold winter's day in the hills and gullies of Wutai. Sephiroth had always been remarkably patient with Zack's complaints.

"Zack," Sephiroth whispered as he took him in his arms.

"Hmm?" Zack turned to face his lover. He was completely unprepared for the deep look of anguish in Sephiroth's turquoise eyes. "What's wrong?"

Sephiroth buried his face against Zack's neck, pulling him close. "I don't want to lose you," he whispered hoarsely.

"Oh, Seph... You're not losing me. I promise."

His lover only shook his head. Zack stroked his long silver hair helplessly.

"What if the darkness, the hatred, tries to take over again? You won't be here to help me hold it off... I might hurt someone."

Zack swallowed heavily, thinking of Cloud. "Seph, love, you'll be alright. Believe in yourself. I do."

Sephiroth pulled back and looked up at him finally. His eyes were shining with unshed tears. Zack brushed his bangs back tenderly. His heart ached for Sephiroth, but there was nothing else he could do for him. He realized suddenly that saying goodbye this time was going to be so much harder than going out to the front lines in Wutai. There at least they had known that one was as likely to die as the other, but here... here he was heading into the unknown, leaving Sephiroth behind, alone.

"Seph," he whispered. "I will come back to you."

His fierce whisper seemed enough to convince Sephiroth, for now. He kissed Zack slowly, lingeringly. And Zack, feeling that gentle, savouring touch, realized that tonight, his lover was going to let him take the lead, as he seldom did. Tonight, Sephiroth was giving control over to Zack.

Slowly, he undressed the taller man, letting his hands and lips caress the lean, muscular body as he did so. Tangling his fingers in the long, silky fall of Sephiroth's hair, Zack led him to the bed and pushed him gently down.

Turquoise eyes met deep blue ones, both glowing with Mako and tears.

"I love you, Zack," Sephiroth whispered, raw need aching in his voice.

"I am yours," Zack answered, drawing a deep and ragged breath. He kissed Sephiroth deeply and passionately, crushing their lips together.

Their eyes fell closed, shutting out the darkness and the future, as silent tears fell unnoticed.

He was up and ready to leave before dawn. Sephiroth stirred and woke as Zack slipped from the bed and dressed in the dark. He said nothing, but Zack could feel his eyes on him. With a heart-weary sigh, he finished dressing and sat back down on the edge of the bed.

Sephiroth reached out gently, taking Zack's hand in his. They sat there in silence for several minutes, neither one wanting to speak to end their quiet time together.

At last, though, Zack sighed and bent down to kiss his lover gently. "There's something I need to ask you," he murmured, nuzzling Sephiroth's cheek.

"Mmm?" Sephiroth shifted and sat up.

"There's a letter on the table. Can you deliver it for me?"

"To whom?" his lover asked, seizing Zack's hand again and kissing his palm.

Zack shivered. "To Aeris. She's a flower-girl from the slums. She healed Cloud the other night."

He felt, more than saw, his lover tense and pull away.

"Seph, please," he said softly. "This is important to me."

"A girl from the slums is that important to you?"

He winced at the hurt, disdain, and derision in Sephiroth's voice.

"It's not like that, Seph," he protested. "You know I'd tell you if I was interested in anyone that way." He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. "She helped Cloud, and I just want to let her know that he's okay now. That's all, I swear."

Sephiroth remained tensely disapproving for another long moment before relenting. "Alright. Where can I find her?"

Zack breathed a sigh of relief and leaned over to kiss Sephiroth again. "At the train station, usually. She has long brown hair that she wears tied back. She sometimes carries a staff, and a flower basket, of course."

Sephiroth returned the kiss almost absentmindedly. "I'll make sure she gets it, then," he said, sounding distant and reserved.

"Thank you."

Sephiroth's long silver hair fell across Zack's hand as he nodded. "You'd better go," he said, swinging his legs over and across the bed. He stood up on the far side. "Don't want to keep Hojo waiting."

As much as he desperately wanted Sephiroth to hold him, just for a moment, before he had to go, he knew that as far as Sephiroth was concerned now, their goodbyes had already been said.

Even so, as he stood and shouldered his duffel bag, he couldn't help whispering, "I love you."

But no answer came as he strode out the door.