Desert Dreams

KoG III ~ Shadows Descending
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How might things have been different, I wonder, will always wonder, if events had not unfolded in the twisted pattern they took? Perhaps going to Egypt, someway, somehow, would have been the wiser path by far for both of us. Certainly it would have saved Yugi-kun much heartache. But the ways of the world are as inscrutable as the ways of the Puzzle, and the path was chosen for us... and for Seto... for good or ill.

~*~*~*~

"Tell me, Seto," I said, turning my head to face him where he lay on his back beside me, staring up at the stars. "What is it you want from this life?"

He blinked, not bothering to look at me. "What is it that any man wants, my Prince?"

I turned my gaze from his profile -- sharp features, sharp mind -- and folded my arms behind my head. The night air was rapidly cooling, would soon pass from calming to chilling, but for now it was a comfort after the heat of the day. "There are as many answers for that as there are men, no?"

He laughed shortly, a bitter amused sound. "Then why ask?"

Because it is your mind I would know, I think, but those words will not pass my lips. Instead I say, "Do you remember, years ago... when we were swimming --"

"And I saved you from the asp you didn't see? What of it, my Prince?"

Yes, the asp, poised to strike. He had seized it, snapped its neck with one quick whipping motion, and said not a word. I hesitated, feeling my way carefully through old emotion and new, through past and future fears. "Why did you do it?" I asked, cursing the fumbling ineptness of language.

There was a long silence, and then the rustle of fabric against sand as he rolled onto his side. I looked towards him, towards the slight smile on his lips, as he rested his head on his hand, elbow in the sand. "Again, what would you have me say? What is it you seek... Yami?"

What I want is proof of his friendship, of his loyalty, of some feeling for me not as his Prince, but as his friend. Yet to ask for it invalidates it, does it not? Why should I question him, question what might or might not lie between us? How can I not ask, when so much has changed?

"There are those who say," I began, "That you seek my favour for the power I give you. That you care nothing for me, for the people, for the land -- for anything a noble should."

"I am no nobleman," he replied, refusing to meet my searching gaze for a moment.

"Your noble parents would be wounded to hear you," I said quietly.

His smile slipped into a sneer. "What does it matter, my Prince?"

What did it matter, indeed? If we had been friends, we were no more. It was more than obvious to everyone but me that things had changed. Why did I feel the need to scratch raw the wound? To exacerbate the distance between us?

"Yami...."

The change in his tone distracted me from my thoughts, pulling me back to our staggering dance of words. "Seto?"

He hesitated, studying my face as I had studied his before. "Would you have me swear some new oath of loyalty? What proof can you give that you deserve it? What have you ever done to earn what you ask of me?"

His words stunned me into silence. I shook my head, considering the layers of meaning. The wind picked up, running its fingers through his hair. My throat tightened at the sight, at the strength and passion of him beneath the passing breeze. Honesty was all we had had for so long, but had we ever had it? Had I ever been honest with myself before seeking the same from him?

I wanted his friendship, simple, uncomplicated. But it had never been, and would never be, it seemed. And still that was not all, if I were to peel away all the layers of my self-deception.

"Must I earn... you?"

Seto's reaction was raw, honest, exposed only for a moment before it disappeared behind his mask of control. But that one moment, that vulnerable, startled look, meant I had touched him, had reached the core of him. Was it enough?

~*~*~*~

TBC...